by The Stoned Beatle

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released August 4, 2013

All songs by The Stoned Beatle except
"Baby for Pree" by Neutral Milk Hotel
and "Stadiums and Shrines" by Sunset Rubdown




The Stoned Beatle Vancouver, Washington

It's free. Like chlamydia.

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Track Name: This Man Has a Ukulele
Be sure to keep your screws screwed on tight young cowboy
Track Name: Danny Bello
Oh no, Danny Bello
Will you get to heaven?
Even I don't know
Track Name: Chinese Candles
Two Chinese candles burning in the night
Two lovers dancing in the light

I don't want you to be sad
I just wanted you to know
Track Name: Inuit Boudoir
Tick tock Isaac Brock
Time to rock Barbara
With top bra rock oh

Inuit boudoir
Invalid ce soir
Go away get the getaway car
Track Name: I Respect the Fuck Out of You, Aquaman: The Yearning
Aquaman, give me your hands
Let me lead you through barren lands
That you will never know as your own
You will never call them your own

Aquaman, give your eyes
Let me wrap them around the skies
Where you shall never go
Where you can never go

Aquaman, give me your arms
They will protect us from all harm
From all you have ever known
From all you will never know

Aquaman, give me your feet
Let me tap them against the beat
Of the salty blazing trombone
Of the bleating salty trombone

Aquaman, give me your chest
And the heart that beats beneath your breast
Pumping forever to the tone
Thumping to the telephone tone

Aquaman, give me your brains
I'm drinking up your spinal remains
And stealing all your bones
Becoming you bone by bone

I am Aquaman now
I saw the sea, but all I see is clouds
Beneath the sea, I'm so alone
No mermaids for me, I'm all alone
Track Name: Aqueducts
She was tired of living so inanimate
Adamant that it was inadequate
Her blood quit flowing as the days lost definition
The repetition, a change is what we need

Sleeping under crumbling aqueducts
Shot up, beat up, and always out of luck
Chased down by frowning New York City cops
There ain't no place for me

I'm sorry that I fucked up
I didn't know what I was doing
I couldn't even think straight
I was sleeping in the ruins
On top of bodies who made the same mistakes
I thought it would be different
It never is, it never is

There is nothing to fear
Oh, Goldaline, my dear
This humor will pass in time
This sickness won't survive
(You will see)
Track Name: Baby for Brie
You're beautiful, yes you are
You look nice, like a star
I love you, yes I do
The month is June, the sky is blue

Alison Brie, all smiling and smiling
Makes comedy on the set of Community
All she can bring, until the tears are streaming down their faces

And with boobs on her chest, and also a monkey
Named for her breasts, because it was funny
But now he has left to live with a lunatic named Chang

And there is no angry to be Changry for
For a Dean will soon appear to meet and stop and greet her
So long as she is safe from some strange DoppleDeaner
And when the day it came to pour
All her memories all across the bedroom floor
She will be laughing with them all forevermore
Track Name: Peanut Butter Honey Shutter
Tribalize the triglycerides
Thrill and hide the formaldehyde
Postulate your hypothesis
Paraphrase the paralysis
Articulate your arithmetic
Sympathize with the syphilic
Anticipate the antithesis
Quantify your confidence

Parenthetical persistence
Interminable insistence

Peanut butter honey shutter

Bad skin bad blood bad head mad love
Track Name: The Ceremony
When you said you want to walk away
Honey, you should've started running
I got $35 in my wallet
And a ton of bad decisions

I'm wearing the same sweatshirt I wore the last time I saw you
It was unexpected and disappointing
And you disappeared shortly afterwards

I didn't go to the ceremony
You're too young for that shit anyways
Don't follow the opposite of my bad example
Life is longer than you think

I didn't go to your reception
I didn't know you last year
And I sure as hell don't know you now
We were friends, more or less a long time ago
I hope you weren't too upset

Playing cards are scattered across the sidewalk
A dirty joker inside a soggy sandwich box
What kind of luck have I got?

I saw the same girl twice today
An omen, a premonition
It seemed like she was laughing
What's so funny about me besides my never-ending failure?

I'm standing by a dead-end sign
It reminded me of when I was halfway though high school
When I thought that something might still happen
But it never did, because I didn't let it

"Oh, I'm still living at the old address"
Wait, wasn't that The Walkmen?
I feel shrunken in my old clothes
I'm not tired for once, I'm not worn out

"I wear black on the outside
Because black is how I feel on the inside"
Shit, that was The Smiths
Well, I'll have to try again